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Mike is on a mission to find everyday people who are Delightful... The people I interview have attractive energy and a positive outlook on life, and I want to provide a platform for them to share their journeys and stories with you! I will uncover the life experiences of my guests, which have enabled them to look at life in such an inspiring and delightful way. Is it possible... while in our Darkest hours we are given the tools and gifts, we personally need, to find the light which leads to our greatest Delights?
Episodes
Tuesday Jun 08, 2021
Tuesday Jun 08, 2021
Kurt Nielsen is a cousin of mine from California that I have never met until he reached out to me after I appeared on an episode of Richard Ostler’s podcast, “Listen, Learn, Love”, building bridges for LGBTQ Latter-day Saints. Kurt calls in from Yorba Linda California to bravely share his story as a gay Latter-day Saint. Kurt has been following deep impressions his whole life to live with the courage needed to come out to his wife and 3 kids and now feels called to be a voice for those silent sufferers who are to afraid to live with the authenticity they have always felt inside.
Kurt shares his journey as a gay man growing up in Northern Utah, serving a mission, getting married and having a family. Unlike our younger LGBTQ members who have some support networks, Kurt really had very little (until the last few years) causing him to develop a deep relationship with Heavenly Father and the subsequent personal revelation he received. At first you can only imagine the pain and questions his wife and kids had, in fact his Wife needed counseling; however, in love they have stood by his side in love and embraced him for who he truly is, and Kurt and his wife remain married. When he was young he knew that he was different, but like mainstream society believed back in the 80’s he believed he had to change himself. He went to counseling and took his feelings to God, but he didn’t change. Kurt was married in the LDS temple and after trying for years to change himself, to no avail, he began to feel God encouraging him to accept who he was created as, so at 44 years old Kurt told his family. Before coming out at 44, he had never spoken of his true nature to his wife, children, or even people close to him.
We had a great conversation about “the body of Christ”, and I loved what he had to say about Gods diverse family. God does not create us all to be identical, but He gives each one of us unique gifts, talents, and abilities that are very personal to us. After struggling through these feeling for years Kurt was able to overcome his fears and live as the man that God intended him to be, because of his love for God and trust in Him. Kurt shares experiences where others, who believe in God, truly showed up for him in Christlike love and how that had an impact on his life causing him to feel heard, seen, and worthy of love. As this happened and he embraced his true authenticity he has felt more peace in his life and had many experiences to be a voice for others that are facing abuse, bullying, and ostracism from family, friends, and the societies they live in.
The percentage of people who identify as LGBTQ. at BYU, the church owned school is 4%, which is hundreds of kids. Kurt talks about the necessity to make it safe for these kids and to love and accept them for the beautiful children of God they are.
Kurt did a podcast episode on Richard Ostlers podcast prior to talking with me, if you are interested in listening I would highly recommend it.
Here is the link: https://podcasts.apple.com/au/podcast/episode-147-kurt-nielsen-age-59-rm-active-lds-gay-married/id1347971725?i=1000443255688
Tuesday May 25, 2021
Tuesday May 25, 2021
Halee is an incredibly strong woman who faced more as a young girl than most do in a full length lifetime. This is a really neat episode as her mother, Cori Valdez, was on Episode 35, and her wife Chelsea Watters was on Episode 25, so if you would like to here the version on both sides of the story it is absolutely worth it listening to both of them share.
Both Halee and Cori share their experiences with their very own Pain, Shame, and Challenges that their separation brought into their lives. She is an incredibly strong woman and has had to be even as a little girl to survive what she has been through. As you listen in to her share her experiences you will see clearly that she had no choice but to "roll with the punches" for the majority of her youth. Moving from apartment to apartment, never really having a place of her own to call home, and the divorce of her parents at an early age, didn't provide Halee with much opportunity for security and structure in her life.
This is when Tragedy struck... Halee's mother Cori was beaten nearly to death in a church parking lot by her Step Father, who left her to die. By the Grace of God a Father and Son out for a walk later that night saw Cori laying on the ground and called 911. You can imagine the Trauma this would bring not only to Cori, but also to Halee. Because of this event and the pain Cori endured she became addicted to drugs to help her cope, and her life became unmanageable to the point that she felt she had to sign away her rights to Halee and her little sister. Halee describes the last time that she ever saw her mother as a young girl and how she watched her walkaway for what could have easily been forever. Halee was so young she didn't know how to process feelings of abandonment and as young children do, she held onto hope that one day she would be with her mom again, but the pain was there and it was real as she often wondered why she wasn't good enough for her mother to return into her life.
Hearing Cori's Episode and being able to feel and understand the pain that she was going through, and feeling unaccepted even by her own family, makes this story incredibly compelling. It is nothing short of a miracle that Halee and Cori were able to reunite years later. After hearing both sides to the story, I believe that both of them manifested hope that they would be reunited one day even though they didn't know how it was possible. Never doubt the faith and hope of a little child. Years later as Halee's grandmother was in the hospital nearing death and as she went to the hospital to say her goodbye's, her mother Cori, out of respect, communicated to Halee through a family member that she would leave out of respect, and Halee's empathetic response to that truly shows that she had wisdom beyond her years as a result of enduring so many heavy and difficult things. She let her family know that her mom should stay and that she would come anyway. A short time later Haylee found herself standing face to face with her mother, and the feeling that overwhelmed her and her mother was love and a sense of longing to be together again. Haylee said Forgiveness came immediately, and she didn't even have to think about it. Cori and Halee are now best of friends, they truly love each other and have each others backs always. They have been able to hear each others stories, process the pain they both dealt with, and come together in love to be a family again.
I am so grateful to know Halee. She is an incredible person and has such a kind, good, and compassionate heart, that said, this is another of the countless examples I have seen in my life, how a persons trials, challenges, and pain create a tender heart and an empathetic soul capable of showing up for others when they are hurting.
Halee, you are incredible, I am inspired by your strength, your faith to keep going. We live in a world that tells us "Nice people finish last", but your story is a witness that this idea is completely false... You are as kind a person as I have met, and because you held onto hope and love rather than bitterness and anger, things shifted in your world causing miracles to happen around you, bringing healing into you and your mothers life, love into your own, and the sense of belonging that we all hope for during our lives on earth. Way to go! Thank you for sharing your story with us and for inspiring me and so many. I am better because of the opportunity to learn from you.
Tuesday Jan 26, 2021
Tuesday Jan 26, 2021
Chelsea Watters, is an amazing woman. I have had the opportunity to work with her off and on over the past few years and have gotten to know her and seen how lives and treats others. Chelsea is a rising star in her young career with Marriott, and there is no doubt why she is... She genuinely loves people, cares about them with a passion, gets to know her co-workers individually, and carries a positive influence with her everywhere she goes. All of these wonderful characteristic's she has have not come easily, as she has passed through some dark times and difficult trials in her life. Chelsea grew up a Tom Boy and knew that she was different from other girls from the get go. She played basketball in her childhood and when she was on the High School team she knew that she had always felt feelings and attraction to other girls.
Chelsea shares her experiences navigating the challenges of being her true authentic self in a world that doesn't truly accept who she is. She shares the pain she experienced when she broke up with her first girlfriend, and when she started to date her second girlfriend the faced feeling like she wasn't truly loved or accepted because her girlfriend wouldn't tell her family or friends due to Shame. Feeling unaccepted by someone she thought she loved caused her a lot of pain, and hurt. She wanted to move forward but with her basketball career over, she didn't know where to channel her energy. She was working with an a Gentleman, David, who left to take on a Director of Finance Role in Salt Lake City, and 6 months later David called her to ask her to come to Utah. She talks about her initial fear of moving to Utah, in fact her first thought was "Hell No" because she had heard that the culture of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, the predominate religion in Utah, would not accept her for who she is. David, an active member of the LDS church assured her that Utah is a safe place and much different than you think. He also said no matter what he had her back and helped her to feel comfortable to come to Utah.
After making the leap of faith and moving to Utah, Chelsea settled into her role at the Downtown City Creek Marriott, and met a group of friends that helped her feel accepted, loved, and gave her the chance to believe Utah was the right move for her life. She ended up dating and falling in love with a young woman who initially worked in the same hotel before Chelsea moved to Provo to advance her career.
She speaks of true love, what true love looks and feels like and how it has blessed her life. She also shares about her decision to "come out" to her parents, brother, and friends. Her parents did an amazing job of accepting her right away and she even mentions how her father knew before she said anything. She also talks about how difficult it was for her brother initially. At first he was ok and he, his wife, and two daughters moved forward as if no big deal, but when Chelsea announced that she was getting married and wanted them to come, he was very uncomfortable and explained that he couldn't do that to his two girls. After some time of reflection and thinking it over her brother decided that it was more important to Love first and foremost and attend the wedding with his family.
Chelsea is a joy to know, she uplifts those around her and is always looking for opportunities to say a kind word, express gratitude, and help those in her circles. My life has been blessed and I have learned so much more about God and the diversity of God's children due to my conversations and experiences with her. Chelsea, you are doing so many great things with your life and constantly helping others along your way. Thank you so much for sharing part of your journey with us.
Tuesday Jan 05, 2021
Tuesday Jan 05, 2021
From the day we are born into this world we have many idea's, theories, teachings, and traditions forced upon us. We are not to be blamed for this, as we are all products of the environment we are born into, however, as we learn and grow, we are presented with opportunities to gain new information, truth, and insights that can cause us to question some of those former mentioned ideas to determine if they are actually right or wrong. I believe in Jesus Christ, He has rescued me when I had no business to be rescued, and as His disciple I look to Him as the perfect example for how to love others. That said, people who identify as LGBTQIA+ have been people I have stayed away from, thinking that avoiding would be the best way for me to "love" them, you see it didn't quite fit into "my beliefs"... However, something miraculous happened in my heart as I prayed to God to help me love ALL others more. I started to meet some of the most amazing people I have ever known, like Richard Ostler, Stacey Harkey, and George Deussen, who immediately challenged my beliefs about loving as Jesus does, without saying a word... They showed me in action what Jesus' love truly looks like, and Stacey's story will help you understand, like I know now, that the idea of loving as Jesus does means to love in such a way that we pursue ALL people unconditionally, no matter what, and we bring them to the table. Unconditional is key! Let Stacey's story sink into your heart and if you do not already love ALL unconditionally, challenge yourself to abandon old narratives placed in your mind by sources other than Jesus Himself, and love as He does.
Stacey Harkey, who some of you may know from his acting days on Studio C, shares his amazing story growing up a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, serving a Mission, attending school at the Church owned University BYU, and coming out as Gay.
The interview was particularly special due to Stacey's love and devotion to God throughout this entire experience. He talks about being younger and realizing there were things that were "different" about him than other boys, and how he took a part of himself that is very real and tried to lock it away in order to deflect some of the shame which caused him to question who he is.
After serving a faithful 2 year mission for his Church, he returned home to start college at BYU. Stacey talks about his experiences dating women, and although he really liked some of the women he dated, he never felt an attraction to them so it felt like he was wasting their time. He had always been attracted to Men but this was against everything he believed was right and that he was supposed to do, so he kept it hidden with everyone but God. He talks about taking his attraction to men to God and asking him to help and change it, but that never happened, and one day instead of asking God to change him, He asked God "Tell me what to do, and I will do whatever you want". He felt immediate peace and the sense that God loved him exactly how he is, and in fact created him to be just that... Himself. Stacey felt that God was saying to him "Why do you hate the way I made you?" and realized how arrogant he was being thinking that the perfect Creator (God), who doesn't make mistakes, somehow made a mistake on him." Trusting this answer to his prayers he finally was able to embrace his authentic self and gain the courage needed to talk to his religious leaders, friends, and family. He now feels more peace and freedom than he has ever felt. Stacey loves God, and I could feel his deep love for God throughout our conversation.
His journey is amazing and so needed as young people growing up in families where coming out as LGBTQ is not safe, and some are even ending their lives to suicide feeling ashamed. Stacey is an example to show that it's ok to be yourself, to want true love in your life, and have the courage to talk about who you are. Stacey is a hero to me, and has opened my eyes up quite a bit to the idea that loving the sinner and hating the sin, is a cheap valueless way of attempting to show acceptance to someone that is different than you. I learned from Stacey, in a much deeper way, that it is my actions surrounding my words that bring value and if I love all as God commands, then I need to love all regardless of their "sins" or differences of opinion/beliefs.
Thank you for your courage Stacey! May God continue to bless you on your journey my friend! Keep making us laugh, always! If you don't know Stacey's work on Studio C, I encourage you to check it out by searching on YouTube either using his name or Studio C. Studio C is family friendly clean humor that has had huge success. Keep your eye out for his upcoming projects under JK Studio's he and his friends recently started.
Monday Oct 05, 2020
Monday Oct 05, 2020
Richard Ostler is the host of Listen, Learn, and Love Podcast, which focuses on building bridges of inclusion and acceptance for our LGBTQ brothers and sisters. He has devoted the past few years on reaching out to help those that feel oppressed to lift them up and make sure that they feel loved and embraced by all, especially in their religious communities. From the moment I met Richard I could feel of his love and concern for me and as we sat down together to talk I learned so much from this man about truly loving others no matter what and helping people that feel unseen and oppressed feel valuable and loved.
Richard is the host of the Listen, Learn and Love podcast (https://listenlearnandlove.org/podcasts) which provides a platform for LGBTQ Latter-day Saints to share their stories. The podcast also includes stories from those working through complicated issues (repentance, early-release missionaries, emotional illness, faith-crisis).
He is also the author of Listen Learn and Love: Embracing LGBTQ Latter-day Saints available on Amazon (www.amazon.com/dp/1462135773) and Seagull Book (www.seagullbook.com/Listen-Learn-and-Love-Richard-Ostler.html)
I invite you to Listen, Learn, and no doubt fall in love with Richard who selflessly serves to bless so many people in need. If you would like to contact him, he can be reached at richard@ostlergroup.com.
Richard, I love you my friend and am so grateful for the opportunity to meet you and Learn from you. Thank you for helping me see “a better way” to live.